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-- Download Kalin’s Layer Dip Recipe as PDF --

Okay, I know everyone can do a layer dip, but I think mine is the best. I also know that posting recipes has almost nothing to do with the goals of my site… but… whatever.

can of refried beans,

12 oz sour cream,

shredded green leaf lettuce,

chopped cilantro,

taco seasoning;

optional: lime juice, juice from a jar of jalapenos, chopped parsley, green onions, tomatos, onions, olives, diced ovacodo

Make your bean dip first by mixing a couple tablespoons or more of taco seasoning into your beans along with enough jalapeno juice, lime juice or water to soften it to the point where you can use a chip to dip without breaking the chip. Optionally mix in some finely chopped jalapeno or onion. It’s better if you let this refrigerate for 24 hours before use.

Spread your bean dip across a serving platter. Add some water to your sour cream and mix until it is thin enough to properly dip a chip, but not so thin that it runs like liquid. It should spread easily across the bean dip. Optionally scatter the diced ovacado into the sour cream. Mix the cilantro, lettuce and optional parsley and veggies together and spread liberally along the top. There should be as much lettuce, cilantro and veggies as bean dip and sour cream, making this kind of a salad on a tortilla chip.

-- Download Kalin’s Potato Quesadilla as PDF --

small handful leftover potatos

diced onion

diced green pepper

sliced mushrooms

diced tomatoes

sliced olives

taco seasoning

shredded cheese

tortilla(s)

two frying pans or one flat-top grill

Spray your flat-top grill or frying pan with cooking spray and throw down your potato, onion, green pepper and mushrooms. Top with a liberal dose of taco seasoning. Remember the taco seasoning is onion based, not salt based, so you can put on more than you think without ruining it. Stir these vegetables and get them nice and mixed up with the taco seasoning, though be careful not to mash the potatos.

Next, take one or two tortillas. It’s best to use two on a flat-top, but if you only have a pan, one will do. Throw the tortillas down without any oil or spray at a very low heat. If you put oil down or even cooking spray, your tortillas will get too greasy. If you have two tortillas and two kinds of cheese, put one kind of cheese on one tortilla and the other on the other. Spread it evenly. It doesn’t need to be too thick since you are applying it to both sides. Mozzarella is my favorite because it gives it that nice stringy pizza sensation and isn’t greasy like cheddar. I usually put cheddar on one tortilla and mozzarella on the other. If you use nothing but cheddar, you might be dripping a little grease.

Wait for the cheese to melt, then throw in your tomatos into the vegetable mixture. Mix them up and cook for twenty seconds or so, then mix in the olives and immediately transfer the mixture to the top of your first tortilla and spread evenly, then slap the other one on top. I use two spatulas to carefully transfer to a cutting board to slice into sections.

The little cubed breakfast potatos work well for this, or leftover baked potatos diced into cubes. I’ve even done this using leftover french fries with reasonable success.

Obviously if you’re not a potato person, meat works just as well.

salsa

raw diced chicken

That’s all you need for this Easy Mexican Chicken Recipe. Throw the salsa in a pan (no oil). You don’t need a lot, but you need enough so that you can’t see the bottom of the pan. Throw in your chicken and bring to a light boil. Cook the chicken thoroughly, which should only take five minutes or so.

And that’s it. Easy squeezy, simple pimple. You can do whatever you want with it now. Throw it in a burrito with rice and beans or in a taco or over nachos. If you’re drunk or desperate, you could probably get away with just eating it like a stew.

The nice thing about this is that you don’t need to waste time marinating chicken and you don’t need to bother with any other seasonings, yet it creates moist and flavorful chicken. It’s also difficult to screw up. If you over cook it a little, the chicken should stay moist. The only drawback is you might waste a little salsa. I haven’t tried it with other meats, but that would probably work too.

Kalin’s leftover chili recipe (fresh chili works too ) This is stoner food right here.

Chili

Tortilla chips

shredded cheese

shredded lettuce

optional, though you should include something from this list to make it more interesting:

chopped cilantro

green onions

nacho veggies (onions, tomato, olives)

salsa

sour cream

Take a big serving platter (or a regular plate if you’re all by your lonesome), put down a layer of tortilla chips. Top with shredded cheese. Spread hot chili over top of that. Top with more cheese, then your shredded lettuce mixed with your optional cilantro (my favorite part), green onions and nacho veggies. Serve with sides of salsa and sour cream.

My liquor cabinet. I already drank all my Irish Cream, frangelico and Kahlua

This is my favorite drink recipe that I concocted. I haven’t had one in a while because I’m trying to save money.

1 part Irish Cream

1 part Frangelico

1 part Kahlua

1 part Soy Milk (or regular milk for those anti-soy folks)

optional: 1 part hennessy (if you like it a bit stronger)

Combine over large ice cubes. I prefer soy milk over regular milk because it’s easier on the stomach and doesn’t distract from the other flavors, but most normal people will probably prefer regular milk or–if you’re hard core–cream.

The four ingredients can be mixed in any combination; they don’t need to be even or you can leave out either the Frangelico or Kahlua and it will still be delicious.

I tried this once with a little bit of Peach Schnapps. That turned out well, however, I also tried a bit of Aftershock in this drink and that did NOT turn out well.

Just for fun I’ve decided to post some of the recipes I’ve invented over the years. I’ll start with my hot dog topping recipe.

This is a dry salsa that’s decent on tortilla chips or other mexican food, but works best as a hot dog or hamburger topping.

1 part finely diced onion

1 part finely diced green pepper

1 part finely chopped cilantro

finely diced jalapeno to taste

Chop everything up and store in the refrigerator for a couple hours–preferably 24 hours–before serving to allow flavors to blend. It’s important to note that an even part of cilantro is a TON of cilantro. The last time I did this I used one onion, one green pepper and almost an entire bundle of cilantro, though you want to remove most of the stems. Exact measurements are certainly not required.

Add a tiny squirt of ketchup and mustard and just a little cream-cheese and pile on this topping and you’ve turned those nasty hot dogs into something decent.